To my Dearest (#034)
Before I knew you I had meant to write a letter to you. During the summer when the pressures of life had eased just temporarily, I had it all planned out. I didn’t know where you lived, didn’t know who you were yet but I truly still wanted to talk to you, write a letter to you for letter’s sake. To tell you that in a world of emails and Facebook we could still remember the letter. To take the time to articulate our thoughts, and express what we could, knowing each word written down in our best handwriting was said. And would be what we truly wanted to say because of the time we devoted to it.
I had wanted to tell you to take heart that I still do care, that you were not just a number, a civilian, a pedestrian, a statistic, or just a population. But a person with a face and a name. With the effort I put in this letter for you, to write that I care for you even though we share no other outward connection.
But I never did. I always found another way to say next week, and have that self-satisfied lazy thought of the ample time I had as the days slip through. I let you down, leaving you where you were, thinking to yourself without an ear in sympathy. I’m sorry for this when I realized this as I was marked with the last day of summer, and still sorry now. By then I no longer had the time, school was coming, I had grad school to prepare for, and you my dearest became simply another little thing in my mind that whispered softly into the deafening roar of my busy life.
But then I found you again. From a great teacher of mine you may know her Dr. Sonja Nikkila, who showed me your face. And now I realize all isn’t well in your thoughts. That something has caused you to reflect deeply with troubled eyes. Perhaps it would be good if you could say your thoughts out loud to the world. A sympathetic ear is ready to hear.
Sincerely Joshua P’ng, Student of ENGB03
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